Tricksy little sayings

These kids of mine. They just have a way of cracking me up. Mak searches for moments to make me laugh and be a part of the action and some of the things Sophia says literally crack me up.

The other day, Sophia was throwing a temper tantrum in Target, and having to finish my shopping excursion because I had waited until the 27th hour and had a deadline, I pressed on toward the goal. The whole thing - Sophia in the back of the cart because I had to contain her - became a race to see how fast I could whip down the aisles, grabbing what I needed while ignoring her screaming, kicking, and trying to jump out of the cart. All the while, Mak, who was quietly strapped and sitting in the kid-seat in the front of the cart, had a look of utter amazement, tracking a make-believe ball back and forth from Sophia back to me, Sophia back to me.

...Whap! Sophia hits a fast one with the latest kick to the side of the cart...
...Kapow! Mom ignores it but sweat is dripping down her fac and I think I saw her lip twitch...

Because the game was too much fun to watch and there are no rules when you're 15 months old, Mak decides we're having too much fun without him. He begins shreaking at the top of his lungs, echoeing every one of Sophia's loud screams with a shrill of his own.

...It seems, folks, that a Capuchin monkey has joined us on the court...

The upside to temper tantrums is who needs exercise when you're so embarrassed and sweating and burning calories? The downside is that you may discover that your deoderant is less than ample to live up to the task.

And, Sophia, with her latest comments (she'll kill me one day if she reads this), trying so hard to be just and fair:

Mak, being a BOY, finds his PARTS every time he's naked and who needs bath toys when you have these PARTS? Follow me? So, last week, Sophia tells Mak he needs to share while they're in the bathtub. Our most recent sibling challenge is sharing, and I've taken cues from my friend, Nicole, in setting timers to mark how long one child gets to play with a toy before it's the other's turn. SOOO, in the sweetest most coddling voice EVER, Sophia says to Mak, "ok, buddy, go ahead and have fun, but next it's my turn to touch your PARTS, okaaaaayyyyyy?" Later in the week, while they were strapped in their seats in the back of the van, Sophia begins to call Mak a "little humper" which carries on into the afternoon and then the following morning.

Love this. First she's encouraging him to share his PARTS with her and then she's calling him a "little humper". I cannot begin to describe how special this was.

And then, in a moment I thought would be educational, I explained to Sophia how when we don't obey rules and laws, we might have to go to jail. To which Sophia replies, "ohhhh, weeeeeelllllllll jail is just like Heaven. You can die in jail and you die in Heaven..." Fantastic. That went well and I really drove that home. In fact, I can see that I've explained the whole concept of Heaven really well, too. Great.

All in all, however, life has been great. Sophia has started school and is doing fantastic. Mak is talking, running, continuing to play in toilets, and now has discovered that his little fat foot is the exact right size to fit evenly in Macy's water bowl. Our days have been crazy, but good, and they're going too fast. And, on this note, I'm going to sign off. Mak just put a plastic pig in my lap and "bye bye". Sianara, for now!

Radically

I've been taking a step back lately from the motions of "knowing" God and "serving" Him and I had admittedly gotten to a place of thinking, "if this is IT, then I'm not sure this is what I want."

Well, what I had been experiencing wasn't really "IT".

I've been seeing and learning and experiencing God's love. Not His favor. Not His provision. Not His endurance, or patience in affliction, or submission, or faith, or even His joy. His love. His vast, all-consuming, identity redefining love.

You know the friend you have that is your real friend? The one you can call and brag to when you make a fantastic dinner? Or have found the best pair of boots? The one that is your friend buried down deep in your heart that you have an affinity for above all the rest? Well, I have learned that that drive for a confidant, that drive for wanting THAT friend is from God. I have learned that God wants me to be that friend to Him. I have learned that if I'm quiet, God will tell me, giddily, the secrets of the universe. He will brag about the expanses of the galaxies, or the numbers of stars, or the excitement He had in creating the different trees. He will allow me to hear the cicadas humming and singing to God and show me how He is bigger than my worst moment. I've fallen into the Adam-and-Eve syndrome of hiding from Him when I don't want His accountability, but lately, I've tried to stand firm. I've tried to come to Him when I'm so angry, so pissed off, I see red. I try to call on Him when I need someone to listen. To be face to face. And, you know what? He's there. He's my friend, sitting next to me, listening as I vent and complain, and He's my friend that doesn't say "I told you so". He's become my "cry with me" friend and my "laugh with me" friend and my "i love you so much" friend. He's been my friend who's ran to get the tissues when I'm crying and snot is running down my face. Like with any friend, there is no promise that they will alleviate the crap that makes life tough. But, they're there. They get the call, and they're on the next plane. God gets the call and He's at my front door.

And laughing? Soooo comes from God. Um, He created it. What about laughing with God? When did we ever think that it was disrespectful? When did we ever think having the joy of the Lord was just designated for tough times? Hello? God is funny. He is humor. He is good, and gracious, and embodies holiness, and wisdom, and beauty, but He also embodies funny. He also enjoys a good chuckle. An inside joke.

Always a christian, always a follower, but now I'm changed. I'm different. I don't want to be minimal anymore. I don't want to talk about it anymore or teach on it anymore or meditate on it anymore. I want to experience it.

I will be radically changed because He has shown me how He loves me. I am important to Him. He is jealous for me. I will not be minimally affected. Oh, how He loves me.

Check 'er out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps

Sing me a song, Sophia...

Dear Sophia,

...Little girl with a big, deep, wise heart...

...My little girl that I named "Sophia" because it was greek for wisdom, which is what I want most for you. Beyond all riches and success of this world, beyond fame and happiness and lack of sorrow, I want you to have a wise heart.

Today you were singing to me at the table while we ate our lunch the song "Mighty to Save". You've been singing it a lot to me, and also making up your own "hallelulah" (that is how you pronounce it) songs. I love it that you sing constantly throughout your day to God. I love that I hear you praying and talking to God like He were sitting next to you. Do you know that He is? Sitting right next to you? Wispering in your ear that you bring Him joy and that He delights in you? It's true - the same joy you bring to my heart, you bring to His a thousands times over. The same proud tears you fill my eyes with, you fill His with, too. The same moments I notice your beauty, your humor, your innocence, He notices them, too. And the same moments I don't want to end, but rather to endure forever, He does, too. All the things that I feel as a mother, God feels with a heart that is bigger than mine will ever be. He loves you beyond the limits of the universe.

It seems the biggest change in your transition from toddler to preschooler is wanting to know "why". You have questions. BIG questions. "Why did Jesus have to die on a cross?"; "Why do we CRY holy, holy, holy? Why can't we just SAY it?"; "Why did God make me a girl?"; "How is Jesus God's son and also God?" You hunger and thirst for answers and a deeper understanding of the world, but you also hunger and thirst for understanding God. While this is so great, man, is it also so hard. It means that the burden falls on me to answer your questions, and sometimes I don't even know how to begin to explain God! How do I explain to you the being that was here before the onset of time, who CREATED time, and also wants to live in our hearts, helping us to serve Him and love Him but also paved the way for us to do this through Jesus? My prayer this year, as you turn four and grow in wisdom and age, is that God equips me with His holy wisdom to be able to guide you rightly down the path of understanding Him who saves. That you would grow in knowledge of Him but also that your heart would hunger and thirst for Him. That your heart would beat fast for God, all of your days.

And, my funny little girl... As you were singing today at the table, you sang, "For-ever... author of sal-mation..." and then asked me, "Mommy, do you know what salmation is? It's a white dog with black spots." In all of my teaching, you have taught me again to laugh, little girl. I am eternally grateful.