Hieroglyphics

Mak tells Sophia to stop playing with her crackers.

Sophia gently helps Mak pray before they eat.

Brian gets up twenty minutes early every morning to read his Bible and do his men's study.

There are various books littered next to my bed on the Gospel, Idols, the book of John...

Hung on the wall in my hallway are wires adorned with art, layered upon itself, brought home by my preschool student, Sophia.

If you walk through the house without careful step, you might break your heel on a matchbox car, carelessly left behind by my two-year-old.

Hand-made Christmas ornaments made my children, or by Brian, or by myself, hung on our tree.

My laptop, perched on my dining room table. Accessible always.

There used to be baby bottles drying on the counter, or rogue burp cloths lost among the cushions of the couch, or diapers floating around my house, or sippy cups.

They're all hieroglyphics in my life. Where there used to be artifacts of a single life, not lived for God, but for myself alone, there is now very different evidence. I want to know Him. I want to change to be more like Him. I am a mom. I am growing in this role, my life is expanding in this role; my kids test me, challenge me. Today, as my kids were napping, I was thinking - if someone broke into my house, what would they see? What would they be able to say about me, after walking out of my house?

And, I think - this is what will shape our children more than we know. The things that act as hieroglyphics and tell marked stories about our lives, our now, who we are, what matter to us, what we cherish, what we spend our time doing. They will pour over these cave-man drawings in their heads as adults, because our today WILL be reduced to these kinds of rudimentary depictions as they recall their childhoods. Their memories. Some pictures I will be so proud of. Others, I will not. Because, the things my kids will add will be the emotions to the pictures. To my time spent on the computer, they will add disappointment that I didn't play with them more. To my time spent on the phone, they will add frustration that I was tied up and busy with someone else. Or maybe what I was talking about? Sadly, can I say that to my time spent on the phone they will add hearing me talk about others, or complain? Oh, the horror of that. The undoing of that. But, to my time spent in the Word, or in prayer, they will add everlasting fruit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. And these fruits will also shape tomorrow's hieroglyphics into different pictures.

My hieroglyphics as a 21-year-old were sad, confused moments of me chasing fool's gold. Thank goodness hieroglyphics portray a dynamic, not static, environment - that I changed, that God found me, that He softened my heart to see His truth, that He infused it with love, and mercy, and forgiveness.

Our world is one big hieroglyphic drawing, and our children will shade it in with color. What colors will mine be someday? What colors will yours be?

An early Christmas present

So, I haven't posted in a while, and I've had some good reasons. The holidays stress out my type-A personality and I tend to over-obsess about all I need to do. I may or may not visualize this perfect woman, fireplace-side, handing her hubby a cup of 'nog while the children nicely do a puzzle together. Can I tell you that is not my life? By the time of night a fire would be appropriately burning in my fireplace, I'm usually lost for patience, occasionally yelling "I've had it" or "whoever is doing something wrong is going to get a consequence" at the top of my lungs (and sometimes these statements may or may not be directed at my loving husband). And, this is the perfect segue-way into my early Christmas present.

No, it's not "Jesus is the reason for the season" (although, 'tis true) or, "it's better to give than receive" (because I do love a good present, thanks Nicole). Here it is.... Are you ready for it?

The very best gift you have is the person you've been given for eternity (on this earth).

Ahh... So disappointing, right? WRONG!

The very things that drive me crazy about my husband, the very things that make me (occasionally) roll my eyes are the very things that (if I'm honest) challenge me. His joking helps me take life a little less seriously, which is good not only for my perspective but also for the stomach ulcer I occasionally foster. My husband's task-oriented nature helps me knock out what needs to be done and can be done today, and provides me with the time I need at the end of the day to relax. His budget-minded self sets parameters for my Christmas shopping so that I don't go overboard and am forced to re-mortgage our house, losing life and limb. And, his "the tree looks perfect just the way it is" opinion is always the reassurance I need so that I'm not so perfectionist-minded.

This all stems from the email I got from him today, entitled "Dinner Options" (can I just say "he's good to me"?):

Mare,



The dinner options for tonight are as follows:



Stuffed shells with salad and bread sticks
Beef stroganoff with biscuits and brazed carrots (if you want this take the beef stroganoff out of the frig freezer asap)
chicken stir fry with egg rolls


Love you and try to relax a little. I know you don’t feel good and get stressed but that is exactly why you need to relax. Christmas is a celebration so try to relax and share the LOVE.



Have a good time with Tara and see you tonight. I will hang the lights and garland around the door tonight.



Brian

He's my gift this year. He makes me a better, more likable person. He helps me enjoy the things that need to be enjoyed. He helps me laugh at life and takes over when I need a break. But, most of all, he loves me. Completely and totally, even at my worst moments. And, I know this because the minute I apologize for my worst moments, he gives me the most passionate kisses.

Jesus, reason for the season, thank you for your gift to our world. Thank you that you loved us enough to come when we were still not even wanting you. Thank you for saving us and giving us life abundant. But, also - thank you for giving me my husband. Thank you that you have used him over the last decade to smooth out my rough spots, calm me down, help me to see the joy in life, and show me the things that matter in life. And, thank you for giving him the grace to know how to do all of this effortlessly with kindness and generosity. Thank you for giving me a man I know you're proud of, and for giving me the eyes to be proud of him, too.

Merry Christmas. I've already opened my gift this year.