Christmas Cheer

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!



It's been ages since I've written on this thing, I've nearly lost my memory of it. I need to get back on it for me - to chronicle all of the joys that fill my days that are passing too quickly and that I know I'll someday forget.

Mak? Perfectly boy, simultaneously trouble and joy at the same time. I wouldn't have him any other way. He has a way of saying things right now that makes my heart smile:
mex mixer (cement mixer)
trinkle trinkle widdle star
brockery (broccoli)
"I almost love you, mom"
Josie-phine
His "Oh, yeah"
"Sumping needs to come out of my body..." (my cue for commanding him to get on the potty RIGHT NOW!)
Having a way of prefacing a myriad of statements with, "when I was a baby..."
and his way of sticking out his fist and saying "Bat-man".

At three and a half, I can hardly remember him as my little baby - he's getting tall, gets himself dressed, does his chores, immediately stops to help me if I ask him. He used to be my little boy who wouldn't clean up to save his life... Now he's turning into a responsible boy. Just like his daddy. Where once he was mostly MINE, he now rushes to get his "tools" to help Brian with his projects. Quickly reassuring me that "it's ok, mom; I'll just have a look"... at my van which has a dead battery. He's precious, and quickly become a vision of the man he'll be. The greatest joy? His love for music, for being drawn to worship music and wanting to sing it at the top of his lungs. My prayer? "Lord, help me to be faithful with this one. He has a calling in your church. Help me to guide his love for music well."

Sophia? Brilliant. Reading. Adding. Asking important questions. Learning self control. Being responsible, and sometimes bossy. Eating all of her lunch at school, and correctly writing all of her letters. She's amazing. She soaks in all I say, every answer she meters against what I've said before and then stores it away in the confines of her six-year-old mind to recall later. Everything matters, everything counts. She's a rule follower, and also a dreamer. So talented. So artistic and creative. There isn't a competitive bone in her body, but bless her, she tried basketball this year. All because I encouraged her to do it. My prayer? "Lord, help me to encourage this one to dream big for you; help me to be faithful with what I do and say, because she's watching." She's such a kid: jumping rope this summer, learning to ride her bike, memorizing her sight words. She's also responsible: there hasn't been one morning, NOT ONE, in the last two months that I've had to wake her for school. Every day, her alarm goes off, she gets up, gets herself dressed, brushes her teeth, makes her bed, and comes down for breakfast. This in itself is such a blessing.

Josie? Darling. Endearing. Enchanting. Engaging. Rolling over, playing, cooing, blowing bubbles, giggling. She's everything she should be at five months. I can't get enough of her and simultaneously don't have enough time for her. I wish I could suck her up like a sponge and become saturated with her. She's more joy than I think a third baby should be, and maybe (dare I say it?), she is a double blessing because of our loss last summer? I have never mommied a sweeter, more easy-going baby. She sleeps. She nurses. She puts herself to bed at night and routinely naps well. She's flexible, adaptable, and ever-happy. Be still my heart, she fills me with unspeakable joy. If life could only slow down so that I could just sit and stare at her. Isn't that what we'd all do if we could? Go back to our ____-year-old self and tell them to "chill out; savor the day; stop sweating the small stuff and life a little fuller". Six years ago I had my first baby, and if I had one wish in life, it would be to go back and have the chance to say this to first-time-mommy self.

And me? 33 years old, almost 34. Feeling simultaneously older and younger. Liking who I am more and more (thank you, age-related perspective), being more sure of myself than I ever was before, and also feeling sad about aging because I am seeing how fast it is all going. I'm thankful this year.

...For my husband, for above all, he is the greatest gift of my lifetime. Brian makes me laugh, challenges me, frustrates me, and teaches me. He balances me, smooths me, and supports me. He is a once-in-a-lifetime. My prayer? "Help me love him in a way, Lord, that he feels it. Help me to show him how loved he is on this side of heaven. Help me to show him that I notice all he does for my family."

...For my kids, because I thought I would never be able to have them. And here they are. For the laughter they bring in my life. For the reason to yell, "Go to sleep!" And, for the reason of knowing the feeling of tiny arms wrapped around my neck and tiny hearts that love me big.

And for Jesus. He's the reason for the season, but also so much more. He's the reason for my every day. The reason I can love at all. The reason I can hope for tomorrow. Everything I have is proof of a God who loves me. And I feel so lavished in His love.

Merry Christmas!